Section headings

The article below contains various headings.
The first one is regarding my childhood.
The second, my ministry.
The third, a difficult adult experience that I had in common with someone I helped.
The fourth, my anointing experience.

I have stated this format, so that if there is something in particular you are looking for,
you can know where on the page, to look.

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you are welcome to leave a comment at the bottom of that article. I will also leave your answer there. Or, if the reply would be helpful for others, I may post it on the HOME Page.
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(asked about my childhood relationship with God)

Strangely, I can not remember when I first became aware of the Creator.

My earliest memories ... I had an awareness of good and evil for as long as I can remember back. Evil always distressed and pained me. In the midst of it, my focus was on it's cruelty, and the pain it caused the innocent. I would become deeply grieved and distressed without anything to console me.

When I realized that I myself had some power to do good, to undo some of that suffering, I placed myself in the shoes of every suffering thing 

(any living thing or person), and did all I could to give relief and comfort. 

I also remember thinking that being good involved obedience to authority. I strove very hard for this too, always seeing authority as righteous. It was not until later that I perceived the evil presence of wicked authority.

   Neither do I know at what point I became aware of Yhwh. As far back as I can remember, I have been praying to him. I seemed to naturally sense that he too, hated cruelty and evil. 

In fact, now that I think about it (which I never have), I have always felt that my own contact with evil and temptation, was a test for me...to prove who I chose to be. 

I always felt that I was under test, to see if I would give in and become bad also. Yes, those tests started before I can remember.

When you ask, "at what point I your life did you know that there was God that cares about you?",

It seems strange that I would have even thought that God cared. 

Why? 

Because there was neglect and cruelty surrounding me from birth. It now strikes me as strange that I ever even had that faith.

In my family, I was abused by my father, mother, and elder brother. The abuse was physical, verbal, mental, emotional, and sexual. I guess I should be very thankful, that I always viewed these painful times, as a sort of test. 

It seems I was also aware of a persona of evil, that wanted me to give up. 

I knew that to remain safe from being overcome, I had to remain stronger than such tests. 

Now that I think about these things, I am curious about the child that I was. 

I have never looked back at these things, until now.

I never thought about the idea that my childhood had anything to do with being chosen or anointed. But now that I am thinking about it, it may be my history may be relevant.

I also am remembering the demons that harassed me. I had quite a stressful childhood. In addition to the ongoing abuse, I had night terrors whenever I was able to fall asleep. 

I kept silent during the long wakeful hours of the night, because my father demanded it. I was not allowed to go to my mother or father for comfort. 

When suffering this distressing fear, I would begin to silently pray in my mind, begging God to protect me from the evil I felt before me...

and then they would disappear. 

I think this taught me early on, that there was a stronger God who did see me and care for me.

 I then made it a habit to talk to him frequently. I was aware that I did not want to be the type of person who called to him for aid, and forgot him and his care when not in distress. I knew I needed to show myself appreciative for such needed kindness.

The prayer got me through all the abuse. I prayed everyday, the entire walk to school. Then I prayed the entire walk home for lunch. Then the walk back to school after lunch. And then, the entire way home at the end of the day. 

These end-day prayers were especially earnest, because I was walking home. There was where I would face more abuse, and I asked God, each day, to be with me, and help me be good through it. My goal through the abuse, was to remain respectful and obedient and kind, so that I would not offend my Father in heaven, whom I had grown to love. 

The way my heart coped with my trials, was this...

Whenever I got the chance to help an animal or insect to be safe or happy, I would do it. 

I thought that in this way, 

I have conquered what happened to me. 

I can undo the force of cruelty, by using my own little power, for good. 

This sense of victory and power, seemed to weaken and disarm the evil I suffered. 

I could make my abuse, impotent. 

I could feel, that while I did this, God was helping and approving,
due to my striving to imitate Him.
I knew from the love extended to me, as well as what I observed within nature...even among animals,
that He as a God of love.

Well, I hope that answers your question. Thank you for getting me to think about this. I never really saw these things about my life or childhood. I already knew that as a child, I already had a relationship with Yhwh and Jesus, and prayed to them often... 

But I had forgotten all these other things, and how they all started.

I don't know how my history can help you, but I hope I addressed what you were curious about.

(if any member of my family should ever read the post above...
please know that I love you. I do not blame you for anything that happened in the past. God took care of me and refined me. I realize that everyone struggles, and does the best they can. I know that cruelty and injustice made it's mark on your lives as well, and left you with scars. My only hope is that you come to know our Creator also, and one day, experience his healing love.)


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(asked about my current ministry)


DO YOU GO PREACHING HOUSE TO HOUSE LIKE JESUS COMMANDED, OR NOT???


I take very personally Jesus command to preach, using as many venues as possible. I am what is called a pioneer among "Jehovah's Witnesses". I am enrolled as such in my local congregation.
I average 100 hours a month teaching the public, to those who have no scriptural familiarity.
I spend most of this time conducting Bible studies, with 11 different progressive students.
Each month on average, I start an additional Bible course with a new student.
My public ministry is very productive.
 This basic information about me is contained in my profile, at allexperts.com.

While using the publications provided by this organization, I take care not to teach anything contained in them that I know to be error (Rev.14:5).

I also teach on line, ...and as you see here--I also answer questions.
I also teach baptized witnesses who want to know the "truth about the truth".
I also write articles, located at 4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com.
And I also converse with other anointed ones, to share with them whatever gifts spirit grants.

Thank you for your question,
pearl

NOTE: As of April 2012, I am no longer associated with my local Congregation of "Jehovah's Witnesses". I was disfellowshipped for taking a stand for Truth, and for loyalty to Jesus Christ my head, rather than loyalty to men and their worldly power and unscriptural doctrines (2Cor.13:5; 1John4:1; 1Tim.4:1; Rev.16:13-16; 20:7-8; Isa.10:22; 1:9; 65:8; Rev.14:18-19; Deut.32:32-33,19,24; Rev.6:8,9-11; John16:2).
(pearl-farewell.blogspot.com)
(Getting "killed")
(symbolic-death-by-world)

Important consideration for you...
"house to house" does not translate as "door to door".

Although the Organization interprets Acts20:20 as meaning a public door-to-door witnessing to strangers, the context of Acts20:20 (as well as Rom.16:3,5; 1Cor.1:11; 16:19; Col.4:15; Phm1:2), proves otherwise. Those whom Paul is speaking to (about teaching them "house to house"), are the same ones he is speaking to in Acts20:18,19,20,28,34,36,37,38 and are those whom Paul knew well.
The "houses" where Paul went to teach, were Christian meeting places...Congregations...not the doorsteps of the public. They did not have church buildings or "Kingdom Halls" in the first Century. These Congregational groups met in the private homes of their fellow local members.
For those who were not yet associated with one of these groups, they could choose to listen when Paul and others taught "publicly" in market places, synagogues, etc.
OR
others would be directed to the "Living Stones" of the Holy Priesthood/God's Temple (Eph2:20,21,22; 1Pet.2:5,9) directly by Holy Spirit (Acts10:47,48) or the anointed would be sent by spirit to those of complete heart (2Chron.16:9; Acts8:26,29; Acts9:6,10,11).
So your question.....
"DO YOU GO PREACHING HOUSE TO HOUSE LIKE JESUS COMMANDED, OR NOT???"
is erroneous.


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(one of my adult experiences was brought up, to aid someone in a similar circumstance)

I received a letter from a fragile young mother, who was suicidal over her husband's adultery.
I responded as follows......
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please know that my heart goes out to you in your troubles and pain. Such tests and trials can weigh us down until we feel overwhelmed and hopeless. While no one knows the exact pain and grief you feel; many, including myself, have struggled to endure similar things, and have survived.

It is nearly impossible for those who have not gone through it, to understand. I used to think I knew how I would deal with such circumstances....until it really happened to me. You are never prepared to cope with such heartache.

Right now you are in shock and in pain. You likely feel worthless and unloved. The "terrible thoughts" are a result of this period of your life, as you describe as "the hardest weeks of my life". Right now, you believe that your husband accurately reflects what you are worth. It is natural for us to look to our mates for approval (1Cor.7:34). Yet please know, that your husband's actions and sins are no reflection of you. They are a reflection of his own problems, which are drastically affecting you.

Emotional pain can dash our spirit down.
  "because of the pain of the heart there is a stricken spirit." Proverbs 15:13
If the sore straits we are in, are a result of our own bad choices; we may feel that God still rejects us, and He is not there to comfort and help us..
But notice what GOd himself says...

"The sacrifices to God are a broken spirit;
A heart broken and crushed, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17

 "Yhwh is near to those that are broken at heart;
And those who are crushed in spirit, he saves." Psalm34:18


If we believe that our standing with God, rests with men and an organization,
see the truth...

“For the thoughts of YOU people are not my thoughts, nor are my ways YOUR ways,” is the utterance of Yhwh. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than YOUR ways, and my thoughts than YOUR thoughts." Isa.55:8,9

 "He delivered us from the authority of the darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son of his love, *by means of whom we have our release by ransom, the forgiveness of our sins*." Col.1:13,14

 "Then he opened up their minds fully to grasp the meaning of the Scriptures, and he said to them: “In this way it is written that the Christ would suffer and rise from among the dead on the third day, *and on the basis of his name repentance for forgiveness of sins would be preached in all the nations*—starting out from Jerusalem, YOU are to be witnesses of these things." Luke 24:45-48

 “Repent, therefore, and turn around so as to *get YOUR sins blotted out*, that seasons of refreshing may come *from the person of Yhwh* and that he may send forth the Christ appointed for YOU, Jesus, whom heaven, indeed, must hold within itself until the times of restoration of all things". Acts 3:19-21.


At this time, rage is also a possible reaction. We read in the Bible that "pain makes anger to come up" (Prov.15:1). Excruciating pain therefore, is likely to cause rage. This rage will be expressed outwardly; or inwardly toward the self. This is the very root and fuel of suicide. If the rage is expressed suddenly all at once, some form of violence will result. The only way to heal from such pain, is to have an outlet that remains available; until it is all gradually released and healed. To release it all at once is always negative, violent, and regrettable.

Have you considered therapy? Many communities have it affordable and available, at a local Mental Health Clinic. Talking out your pain and problems can help immensely, over time. It is a safe place, and will not result in more trouble when you seek it yourself. It helped to save my life, and that of my children and husband. This is a wise recourse, if you feel able to function and keep yourself and your boys safe through the process.

I do understand what it means to be in so much pain, that you come to believe that death...even for your children, is better than living in pain without hope.
This is how you feel now,
and how you see now.
Even though it does not make any sense to you now, these thoughts and feelings will change with time. You will look back and wonder how the stupidity of a man, convinced you to think that robbing yourself and your sons of life, was a good idea.
Notice Ecc.7:7. "For mere oppression may make a wise one act crazy".
This scripture tells us that we do not think, feel, and act crazy because we are not wise. No, we become temporarily crazy, because of the oppression!
When and if things get hard enough; all humans will get like this.

There are really so many things that need to be talked about with you, concerning your current circumstances. If you are not in harm's way, would it be possible to put off making any life changing decisions for now? If you and your boys are safe, I am going to suggest that you don't do anything until you are in a stronger place inside yourself.


There are many different reasons why husbands cheat. Here and now is not the time to go into all that. But I will share with you, facts from my own experience with this. My own husband cheated so many times, starting the week we were married, that he lost count. This secret life of his required constant deception and lies. My trust was shattered so many times, once I finally realized what the reality of our marriage was.
You said, "I understand you should try to work on your marriage". Yes, this is true. Yet, can a marriage really be "worked on" by just one partner?
No matter how much the innocent broken-hearted partner works to mend a broken marriage, how can it heal if the guilty one keeps on ruining it?
Despite this, it does not have to be a hopeless failure. But much depends on what BOTH you and your husband believe, and what you and your husband really want.

Whatever your future, I will tell you the truth. No matter what you choose, it is going to be hard work. But I tell you another truth...IT WILL BE WORTH IT.
God wants to help you, and with his help, you CAN cope.
Phil.4:13 reads:
"For ALL things, I have the strength, by virtue of him who imparts power to me."

Please don't give up!
Don't let the evil you are wrestling with, conquer you!
"Do not let yourself be conquered by the evil, but keep conquering the evil with the good.(Rom.12:21)

Triumph as a woman,
and as a mother,
and as a daughter of Yhwh.
I promise to be here to support you, and to do my best to give you God's scriptural guidance, tailored to your own need.
But healing will take time. It should be done carefully and with all the wisdom and strength within your reach.

I am telling you that I understand a good amount of what you are dealing with, and I am here to share that with you, as well as how I did conquer.
With God's help, I was also able to help my husband to conquer his own demons. I never thought it possible, and you also may not be able to believe it possible; but we are now approaching 40 years together. We are happy and very much in love again. We trust one another, and are great friends.

I look back at the dark days when I attempted suicide and considered killing my two little daughters, to spare them the loss of their parents.
I am so glad that with Yhwh's help, I made it through...and I got to see all the wonderful days that came later....
The graduations, first cars, marriages, smiles, laughter, and warm Spring breezes....all the simple things that rest as treasures, in the bottom of your heart.
They are still ahead of you, I promise you. Even though right now, it seems that they are gone forever.

I would like to talk with you more. There is much in your letter that I have not answered yet. Each thing you bring up, is important.

And now I speak again from my heart to you....
if you do not eat,
you will die.
Please,
even if it is for me,
or for your boys,
Please stay alive a little longer....
just for today.
Just for today, please take care of your body so you can keep the Mommy of your boys alive.
Just for today,
each day...
Until things start to heal and get stronger,
and you find the time when you want to live once again.

You can continue to respond to this first letter by writing a "follow up". I hope we can continue to converse. You might be able to change the "follow up" to "private"; and in that way, we can speak more open, free, and private. The reason I ask this is because I would like to share with you some of my history, in the hope that you will not feel so alone. Perhaps my experience will offer you some hope, as well as some answers.


Please know that I do understand your pain, and I will begin praying for you tonight and every night.
I look forward to listening to you more,
and helping however I can.

Thank you for trusting me, and writing,
Pearl

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(asked about my spiritual experiences and anointing)


http://pearl-whoareanointed.blogspot.com/


My spiritual experiences are not my doing, but I feel that in sharing them, they testify to Yhwh's existence, mercy, and faithfulness. Really though, to appreciate the reality of what happened, I should give you some background to my claim....


...I read the Bible from cover to cover in college. The understanding it gave motivated me to begin a search for the answers I still sought.....
Who was Babylon the Great? What were the Judean hills that we had to run to? Who would preach the good news in all the earth? How could we survive the approaching Armageddon? I figured God must have a group to accomplish his many purposes, prophesied for the end-time, in which I knew we were.
My search for lovers of truth, and those who had genuine insight into Bible interpretation, began in earnest.

Well, after my open-minded examination of many religions....

(using the Bible as my touchstone) 

(including being captured by the Unification Church cult and designing an effective escape for both me and my food-drugged boyfriend), 

.....I was losing hope that I could find God's people on my own. After examining so many religions, I wondered why God was tolerating a gross misrepresentation of who he was, as well as allowing the misleading of so many who sought him. Did He care about the merciless exploitation of people's spiritual need? How could he be indifferent to such injustice??? I decided to ask him directly.

One night after going to bed, I began to pray. I told God that his tolerance of all these lies did not speak well of his actual existence. (yes, I got quite bold)

I told him that I had done my best to learn truth, join his people, and as a result...do his will; but it was obviously beyond my own ability. 

If he really meant what he said in the scriptures, then he was going to have to help me... 

I told him that if he did not answer my prayer (now I got really bold), I was going to assume he didn't really exist, or that he didn't really care about all the abuses I saw in false religion. 

I told him that my life was not worth living, if he did not exist. Why should I strive for anything, live in toil, and then in old age have all I possessed, stripped from me and then die. 

I told him I didn't share the illusion of the blissful ignorance of my peers, and if he didn't answer me, if life had no real purpose; I may as well kill myself while still in youth.

I begged him to please answer my prayer, and that if he would grace me with the insight I needed to obey him, I would give him my life and all that I am. 

Then I added some specifics. I told him that I wanted to obey Jesus' words contained in Matthew Chapter 24...but how could I? He did not grant me understanding. I told him I wanted to obey Rev. (to get out of Babylon the Great), but this too, he did not reveal to me. 

I asked him if he would really be unjust....to require things that were too difficult to understand. I prayed for hours about every thought in my heart, and every question that my Bible reading exposed....
but what stood out was this....I said "if nothing else, please just show me what Matt. ch. 24 means, so that I may obey you.".

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing.....(and I don't expect you to believe me, but if I am going to tell you the story, this is it.)
I was taken into a series of visions. (Acts.2:17,18; Num.12:6) I had a "guide". They were not dreams.

It would be a long chapter to tell you all the things Yhwh showed me that night, but for the sake of being able to finish this account, I will tell you relevant parts.
Near the end of the visions...the last one...

I found myself in a country valley. Storm clouds were blowing wildly above. I ran to a higher plateau where I saw people running. The wind quickly grew stronger and louder. I noticed scattered children sitting on the ground with no one to rescue them, as the wind became overwhelming. 

I gathered as many children as I saw, while glancing about for any shelter. I saw a stone tower and ran with them all. When I entered the tower, the door sealed up with the same stone as the walls. I climbed the inner stairway and came out upon the open top floor. The wind grew stronger, and darkness also grew. I peered out from the top of the tower to see if there was any relief in the distant sky. The appearance of the sky was fear-inspiring! Directly beneath the approaching dark, swirling storm clouds above, was an advancing wall of fearsome darkness coming toward me; storming quickly from the West, like a charging army of speedy horses. When it hit me, I was engulfed in blinding darkness, and the wind the gloom contained was overpowering.

The roaring wind suddenly grew so strong, that I could no longer stand. I clung to the stone floor of the upper tower, in fear of being swept away. The air, became BLACK. There was NO LIGHT. I prayed for the children, hoping they were safe inside the tower. One clinging child I had to secure under my belly. Even she was torn away by the wind. I thought sure that my death was imminent. Each time I was sure I could no longer hold on, I would beg God for mercy and help, and was barely able to endure.

Finally, when I felt too exhausted to continue; I felt sure that I was about to die. I begged God to please forgive me all my sins, and please remember me. I told Him that if it was His will for me to die, that my heart accepts it. But if it was His will for me to live, that I needed Him to save me now; and that my life now depended upon His mercy.

Instantly...

the wind stopped dead, suddenly still. The screaming roar suddenly fell silent. But the blind, pitch blackness remained. I stood upon my feet, groping to feel the edge of the tower. I wanted to peer out to see if there was anything that could be seen anywhere.
...Nothing. Black. I kept scanning the horizon all around. Nothing. I waited and prayed to God to save me from this endless black gloom, while standing in a silent, black void.

The long wait seemed so hopeless. What could I do? How could I continue living, within the total absence of sound and light?
I kept scanning full circle around me, like someone blind and deaf...
begging God for rescue from this hopeless entrapment.

Suddenly...the glimmer of three distant stars broke the empty void, and started rising from the horizon in the West. They continued to rise until directly over my head. 

When overhead was reached, the two outer ones continued in a straight line toward the other horizon. The center one remained still over my head. 

I turned my attention again to the moving ones, which were now descending and approaching the Eastern horizon. 

When they reached the earth, they set, and disappeared. This brought my attention back to the one overhead, since it was the only thing left to be seen, in the empty black gloom. It was the only thing that prevented me from being as completely blind.

As I looked at it, something started to happen....
I felt something on my head and shoulders tickle. I touched my skin and felt it was oily, and then I smelled a beautiful fragrance.
Then, while filled with confusion, my heart began to be filled with more love than I had ever known. I looked back up in tears and all I could say was "thank you" to the star, because I now knew it was not a "star", but a person. 

As soon as I thanked him, the star started to move, following the path of the previous two. I feared the loss of light from the center star. For, after it's setting, I would once again be in total darkness.

The moment the star reached the Eastern horizon,
dawn broke! It was the most beautiful dawn I have ever seen! Slowly and softly, light from the star crept up the black sky, illuminating the clouds above in a pallet of pastels. As the earth itself came into view while the darkness gently lifted, I could see that everything had been changed! Everywhere around was new...beautiful....clean, alive and free. The trees were so green and dense and healthy. Everywhere was verdant and lush.

My guide returned. The children climbed up to the top of the tower. The child who I thought had been blown away, was fine! A few children who I thought were safe, were gone.
My guide told me that I would not follow the children down out of the tower (the opening returned).

He looked directly at me and said firmly and urgently,
"They are coming for you! I can no longer remain with you, but must leave you immediately!"
Then he yelled urgently at me, while looking intently into my eyes...

"They are here! WAKE UP!".

I then awoke...  (I "awoke", but not as if I had been sleeping, but as if I were already wide awake) ...already sitting up in my bed...to the sound of the voice of a stranger. I was upstairs in my mother's house, and someone strange was speaking to her downstairs.
I quickly crept to the top of the stairs to listen to this clear voice.

She said to my mother, "Did you ever wonder what Matthew chapter 24 means? Don't you want to know?"

I ran down the stairs, feeling that God did answer my prayer. I knew I needed to know what religion this woman was from. I ran down the stairs (barely dressed) crying "I want to know!". She exclaimed with a smile, "Who is this!?!" (my mother was trying to push her out the door)
I told her, "Who are you? What religion are you from?" Well, it's a long story, but my "study" was started.

It seemed clear, even miraculous, the way in which I was led to the organization of JW's. I would not understand until recently.....why God's spirit allowed this.

                                  ---CONCLUSION---

This is why, despite their unfaithfulness to Yhwh's covenant, I know that scattered within "Jehovah's Witnesses", most of his present day anointed household are contained (Jer.9:16; Eze.22:15; Rev.11:2; 9:3,4; 13:7,10) (Jer.32:37; Eze.39:27; Rev.9:14; Matt.24:31). 
As such, this is the Organization that is being used to test and refine the anointed (Luke22:31; Rev.12:17; 13:1,4,7,10,14,15; 11:7; 6:9,10,11; 12:10,11). 
The Called Ones within them will fulfill the details of prophecy concerning his end-time people (Rev.1:10; 12:17; Dan.12:7; 1Pet.2:10,9), including the reasons for His final denunciations against them (Matt.24:15; 2Thess.2:4; Rev.2:20; Jer.2:13; 2Chron.13:9).
(pearl-disgustingthing.blogspot.com)

  I now know that the anointed at the top are unfortunately, leaving the Covenant (the New Covenant). They are proving unfaithful as the "wicked steward" was prophesied to do (Luke 16:1,2; 12:42,45,46; Hosea 6:5; Rev.11:5). 
Yhwh's judgment upon the people bearing His name, is in prophecy.
( pearl-winepress.blogspot.com )
This is not to say that the only Wild Beast/Man of Lawlessness, and Harlot, are the WT and it's GB.
It is to say that they are the final manifestation of these identities (Rev.17:8), of which there have been many throughout history, who are being used by Satan to ensnare and mislead God's people (Rev.13:7,10; Matt.24:24,25; 2Thess.2:9,10).


God left the Temple ("house") of the Jews the day they killed his Son, showing so by ripping the curtain in two, exposing an empty sanctuary (Luke13:35; Matt.27:51). 
http://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2013/01/imagine-yourself-back-in-first-century.html
He will leave this people also, when the final brothers of Christ are killed by the unfaithful ones (Matt.24:48,49; 1John3:12; Matt.10:21; Rev.13:11,15; 18:24; Matt.23:35,37; John16:2; Rev.11:1,2,7; 6:9,11). 
Until then, we must endure and remain faithful (just as Jesus did while still alive in the flesh) even in the midst of this crooked house. Yet the time came for Jesus to expose the wicked leaders of Israel. (Matt.23). After doing so, he declared to them, "Matt.23:38,39". 
Although the called ones within the organization of "JW's" are demanded to compromise truth for the sake of unity with the leadership;
this is not the example of Jesus Christ. He did not compromise truth to keep unity with religious leaders (John8:31,32,40,43,45,47,55; 7:1,13,16,25,32,48,49; Matt.23:13,24,27,28,31,32,33,35; Rev.18:24; 17:6). Jesus Christ left the example of loving truth even in the face of death, and loyalty to it above and beyond the approval of men.
Our open witness to the truth will result in our "deaths", just as it did for Christ (Phil.3:10; Rom.8:17; 6:5; Rev.6:11; 12:11).

Well, I've shared with you not only how God showed me the organization that he willed me to join, understand, and prophesy to His captive people within it (Num.12:6; Rev.13:7,10; Luke4:18; Isa.49:9; Rev.18:4; Matt.24:16; Isa.42:6,7; Acts13:47; Matt.24:14; Isa.48:20; Jer.31:11)
...but also how I know I've been invited to the full course of Christ. 

At the time of my anointing, I had no idea what the vision symbols of the strong watch-tower (Prov.18:10; Hab.2:1,2,3; Eze.3:17; Isa.21:8,9,10,11,12; 62:6; 58:1; Jer.7:28; 25:4; 6:18,19,17; Rev.8:2,6; Josh.6:4,8; Eze.33:4), the powerful wind of darkness (Ps.55:8,16; Isa.29:2,3,4,6,7,18,24; 54:11; 2Pet.2:17; Rev.9:7,8; Joel 1:6; 2:1,2,4,10,31,32; 3:15,16; Prov.18:10; Eze.38:9,16,17,18; Rev.20:9; Amos 5:20; Isa.8:22; Zeph.1:14,15), the oil poured on my head (Exo.30:30; 1Sam.10:1; 16:1; Rev.5:10; 1John2:27), nor the "morning star" (Rev.22:16; 2:28; Isa.60:1; 58:8; Joshua 6:8,9; Rev.8:6; 1:20) meant. 
I had no idea what the two outer stars meant, nor their going ahead of the center one (Matt.17:3; Dan.12:3; Mal.3:1; Matt.25:6; Rev.11:3,4; Zech.4:11,14)
It would be at least ten years, before I even heard the word "anointed" during my "Bible Study", and ask for it's meaning to be explained.
Included in the explanation, was that it was impossible for me to be of that group, since it's number was completed in 1935; and that if I persisted in this demonic delusion, I would be prevented from baptism. 
(Acts 10:47; 11:9; Matt.3:11; 19:14; 18:5,6; Rev.18:21; Mark 11:23; Rev.8:8)

Of course, now we know that all those of 1935 are dead, and that the professed anointed of the Governing Body, were not yet even born, in 1935.
That threat was temporarily successful among many of those called by God's spirit (Rev.13:7,8; 9:3,4; Dan.7:21; 8:11; Eze.2:6,7,5) in causing them to deny the witness of God's Holy Spirit, toward them.



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